Saturday, July 14, 2012

What do I want, really

I'd say I am not currently at the state where I am fully satisfied with my life, my work, my bad habit, almost my everything. It's running in my mind ' Keep improving, don't stop, keep moving, you can't be lazy anymore, work harder yes you can do it, fight harder...' It's just been 8 months since I came back KL. I truly miss Melbourne, it's a place where I can let my hair down, and still earn a good living, despite staying far from family and boyfriend (which is already a major concern). I know putting more effort in something you want could have changed things, but I understand about give and take, and fair and square to each other, I know I had to do something and not regret/ complain about it. This is a choice I made, and I have to work hard to fight for better, I know I could even if I am struggling a bit sometimes.

Have you got a feeling when you are really pissed at yourself, but you are still not doing anything to rectify it, and you just continue to be pissed, and blame yourself? Maybe you haven't but I am still doing it. And I HATE IT, so so much. I don't blame the stress given by some people around me (maybe I found the stress by myself, not being 'given'), it's some factors which are pushing me to move faster, when I normally move slow, and relaxed. Hey don't forget I was brought up in Brunei! :P the wonderful place <3

Oh well...It could just be too much of focus on minor negative things in life. I still enjoy a lot of aspects in life, company and tolerance from friends, boyfriend, love & care from family... But when I think about work and all those bad habits (which never got improved, just good at being said repetitively) & disappointments I see from people's face, I get too exhausted. I feel like giving up, I tried failed cried struggled in heart but nothing change. When I get criticisms, I accepted it but my heart hurt, where were the expectations I put on myself? Did I set it too high for now? The worst thing is when you know there is really noone who could help you get up but yourself.

I know it's tough, but I gotta stay strong. BUILDING A STRONGER HEART to live, to live to my best in this complicated world.



Okay since there is no space for me to rant, or should I say noone I could turn to for all these 'badmouthing', I decided to speak to blogger, you are the best listener of mine.

My boyfriend will ask me to stop talking bad about people but I DON'T CARE!

So here we go.


(I actually wrote such a long paragraph but I decided to delete them)- Blogger could be a good listener, but it's also too publicised)

Anyways in short it's just someone who like to make my life hard by making a simple thing too complicated, I don't understand why she had to do so. I'll treat it as a training for me. Should I say thanks, and take a bow?


Friday, July 13, 2012

I think I miss you already.

Blog to be alive again soon, I hope:D
So much to tell yet so little time.

Too lazy to edit, it doesn't make a difference to it, so I gave up lol!

I miss you, all of y'all!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Yes I am so so blessed, as always!
God please please make everything stay as it is now.

I promise I am going to learn and appreciate things more,
I promise I will see things on the good side instead of just complaining all day,
I promise I will spend more time thinking about my future,
I promise I will be a more considerate person,
I promise I will learn how to set my priorities,
I promise I will make sure that I will be a better person to make my parents feel proud of me.

I know life is full of ups and downs, nothing can go smoothly forever, but please please at least make all these good memories stay with me forever, and just so I can still feel all these when I want to feel them again.



Thursday, August 4, 2011

To stay or to leave?

Okay it was too much a hassle for me to find ways to stay in Australia due to all the new laws and also the course I'm graduated in.

However, still keeping hope high (trying hardddd to), it's still a dilemma for me to decide if I should insist staying in Australia despite how much discouragement I've received by looking at friends' experiences (in not getting a full-time job after more than half a year or like staying to get Pr and ended up wasting some time doing nothing related to their study field). This is the negative side though. Everything has its pros and cons. The bright side would be how nice life could be when you manager to be lucky enough to get a job, and start your new life here;)

Going back means returning to the comfort zone, getting lower pay and in another good way, more self-satisfaction in the job since it's easier to get the job related to your course/ studies back home comparing to working in foreign country, as a foreigner or as a PR. lol. And perhaps get promoted more easily? HAHA don't know. It's also nearer to home, nearer to close friends and tadaaa.

Anyways, some of my points might be biased and been used to comfort myself just in case I won't be able to further stay. So you don't really have to take all of them into account yeh! haha:P

Will decide things after I go for a consultation with a migration agent tomorrow. Finally decided to spend moneh on it, this's also a failure in arranging my schedule as it's been delayed too long. Been wanting to go but this and that (excuses) and also considering about the fees earlier, that's why I was holding back.

Anyways, yep I'll finalise my decision asap, and I'm actually almost done with it, but I'm still seeking for the light in the end of the tunnel, persistence is the key to success! HAHA:) Will work hard on that!

Wish me luck! Thank you!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

tell me my blog hasn't rotten.

I AM BACK PEEPS! Hope you didn't miss me too much! :P
UPDATE: I am officially announcing that happily/sadly, I am free from uni! I won't say I am officially a graduate until the squarish hat is worn, I think it will definitely excite me on the day itself as the last time I wore it was in Kindi 3 in CHMS lol. Don't really have a lot of thoughts atm as I am in an extremely confused state with overloaded thoughts and decisions to make.

And is now in a dilemma in the next step to be taken.

Which direction is best to go? *scratch head. I just need some more time to think about it since according to the seniors, this is the most critical moment for an individual to decide for his/her future. I am still gona deny how much older I've got, stepping into the society isn't something funny, no more joking around this time! OMGOMGOMG unbelievable.

Well, I am still in Melbourne at the moment, working part-time (hardcore one) while waiting for my graduation ceremony in October. Hopefully get a good interns *fingers crossed.

After that, it's another family reunion again!!! This time with Chyimeisim:DDD CAN'T WAIT!

AND YEH, I will try to update my posts from months earlier when I am in the mood.
It's actually time for job hunting at this hour, what am i doing here *slaps myself and roll off.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

oh thank god she's found a job!

Working part-time is great! :)

At least I don't waste my time sleeping,
waking up earlier to work is worth it,
meeting different people,
learning through the process,
I'm soooo willing to learn!

Thanks so much luck,
Thanks manager for the opportunity given,
Thanks for the not-so-bad salary given.

It wouldn't have been so easy without all your cooperation.

I promise I will not slack at work. HAHs =P

Now Pies are replacing milktea.

Happy birthday Pies. :)

Nothing much to say, you are just an old man who's gotten older.
Would be great if I could be there during your celebration,
Looking forward to that day itself.
Remember the three wishes ok.
Make sure they will all come true.

'that's when your dreams will all come true' :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Took some time to think, there really isn't perfection in this world, learning to change an angle looking at it will get you to accept it eventually, and appreciate it more.

Whatever expected to be perfection will always remain as a fantasy.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

it hurts.

It hurts to know when you wanted to help by saying something,
but you just couldn't, cos you are not in the situation to comment too much ont hat.

I was thinking, should I do more for a friend?
How should I actually help?
Or what have I actually have helped earlier on?
Did I do enough for her?
She certainly deserves something better than this,
Of how smart she is, she shouldn't have been in this state.

And I appreciate her enough to feel painful looking at her situation.
I really do, and I hope things can change for her.

Friend, trust me, you deserve better than where you are now,
just work harder, like you normally could, to get urself out of this,
and never step in again.


Thursday, March 3, 2011

changed uni?!

OHHH I'm now a student of QUT, no longer a Monash-ian. HAHA:P Was in the lecture for the Nutrition course for half an hour and I nearly dozed off and got melted in the lecture hall, so I left my sis alone and went off to library which is still under renovation. :S pinkish but yeh, not too much of a good environment to read/ study at the moment. On the other side, I'm feeling lucky that I didn't decide to take any sci subjects after Form 5 because it's still boringgggg to me, after attempting to concentrate in the lecture.

Going back to Melbourne in 2 days time, but still don't feel that much of excitement, maybe it is because I am too desperate to spend more time with the family. And a bit too stressed about my final semester, where can I escape to? GAH!

Missing classes for the first week made me feel a bit guilty since I've just checked uni's blackboard and tutes have actually started! I'll have to catch up on it a bit more when i get back this sat.

Just to remind myself by noting it on the blog, I have to get my resume and cv done perfectly before applying to any companies. Amitabha bless things will go smooth for me. PLEASEEEE. Now it's another stage for me and I HAVE to face it, growing up is nothing good, seriously.

Ok, final words to myself: STOP PROCRASTINATING FOR GOD'S SAKE!

And to my dearest readers, sorry for not updating my blog for 10000 years, I've been busy since the beginning of this holiday, travelling in between East & West Malaysia and Brunei, enjoying yet tiring, especially for my parents, and the pilot. HAHAHA LAMEEE. Will get back to this 'home' when I leave the 'old nest'. :D

Thursday, February 10, 2011

ok i'm starting to feel panicked about this...

13 Graduate Interview Questions to help get that Graduate Job!!

Published 15/12/2010 12:00:00 AM by Interview Mastermind - Landon Long

Interview questions aren’t always so simple because employers are some tricky bastards. They say all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons and sometimes its hard to know exactly what they’re trying to get at. Relax. Just don’t be a smart-ass and try not to create any negative connotations when answering interview questions and you’ll be good.

But since we know you’re going to go in there and might have a panic attack anyways, we’ve collected some of the common interview questions for you to think about ahead of time.

1. So, Tell Me About Yourself.

“Well, I burn weed, get wasted 7 nights a week, and sleep with someone new every Friday night.” Yeah, it seems like asking this and expecting the truth is about as brilliant as asking a hooker if she has STD’s before purchasing. The thing is, in their interview questions they aren’t just testing your confidence and communications skills, they are evaluating you as an investment, because that is what you are. Tell them why you’re a worthy investment of their time and energy, mean it, and deliver. If you can’t answer interview questions, how are you going to get the job done?

2. What Were Your Duties in Your Last Job?

They don’t care that it was your obligation to clean the toilets on Fridays. Pick the three most important, hopefully relevant, tasks you performed regularly. Word it like a mission statement and make it relevant to the job at hand. “I was responsible for creating and nurturing customer relationships,” is a playful spin on answers to these types of interview questions. You might maen the same thing, but at least you dressed it up to sound pretty.

The way you describe your responsibilities paints a subconscious picture of your worth—do you really want that picture to include you scrubbing the inside of a toilet? List your most valuable contributions when answering interview questions and let them fill in the gaps.

3. What is Your Ideal Work Environment?

If you’re applying for a job pouring cocktails in a back alley of downtown New Jersey, you’d better mention your fondness for slobbering barflies and mopping up vomit. The trick is to make your “dream job” a symbolic representation of the job in question.

Don’t kiss too much ass, but put it in their mind that you’re a perfect fit. If you do choose to say that all of the negative aspects of the job appeal to you when answering interview questions, it’s not going to be very believable so don’t overdo it. Also, your reasons should be more idealistic and impressive than creature comforts and fringe benefits. You don’t want to give the idea you are selfish.

4. What Was the Biggest Project in Your Career For Which You Were the Catalyst?

Don’t start talking about your group effort to isolate and terrorize Jenny from Sales until she had a nervous breakdown and checked into a mental hospital. They want you to answer interview questions like these with work-related projects here that were in the company’s best interest. Answering interview questions such as this is your chance to demonstrate motivation and drive.

5. What Would Your Ideal Employer Be Like?

“One that never comes to work.” Just kidding. The fantasy of an undisciplined workplace might be a nice thought, but you wouldn’t have a job long with that kind of chaos. And since they will be there to direct and guide you, they want to know what to expect of you. Are you going to be a headache? Is it all about you? Rather than describe a boss, describe the kind of healthy working relationship that bosses dream about. You don’t have to lie with these kinds of interview questions, because who wouldn’t want a perfect working relationship with their boss?

6. What Do You Know About This position?

This is the time to show you know what you’re getting yourself into as well as illustrate your research abilities. Talk about the duties involved and what they mean for the company as a whole. It’s always good to relate your role in the company as part of a bigger picture because that is their perspective when you’re asked these types of interview questions. Getting on their wavelength builds rapport.

7. Do You Know Anything About What We Do?

Wow—they’re really giving you the chance to show-off how well you prepared when they throw these interview questions at you. I hope you have. It’s time to talk about the company and where they fit in the industry. Also, touch on the relationship they strive to create with the greater public. It’s important to convey a respect for their role and a desire to be a part of that when answering tricky interview questions. Don’t dog on their environmental track record and all the baby pandas they kill—not if you want the job anyways.

8. Why Did You Leave or Are You Leaving Your Other Job?

Not the time to say you’re boss was an arrogant asshole. Everything should be framed positive. You want to open up new career opportunities. You’re intrigued by the future of the envelope industry. Your want to ride your bike to work. Don’t lie, but be tactful.

No matter how reasonable you reason for a less than positive exit, if you bash your incompetent boss, the mental seed will still be planted that it was your fault. Employers identify with employers, not employees. It’s human nature, so handle these interview questions with care.

9. When Are You Available to Start?

“I don’t know. I’ve got a lot going on this week, and next week my brother’s coming to town. After that is St. Patrick’s Day and there’s a big party at my boyfriend’s place. Can I call you next week and let you know?” Even with a crumbling economy and lack of jobs, you’d be surprised at how many grads pull this rubbish. Set yourself apart.

The best thing to do is ask them when they need you. Even better, look them straight in their eye and say, “Right now.” You’ll be surprised how often that gets you a job on the spot, so be ready to back it up. Never answer interview questions with anything but the truth because it could bite you in the ass if they expect you to follow through right away.

10. What are Your Biggest Strengths?

Develop a personal statement that outlines three of your biggest strengths, and use it when these types of interview questions are asked. It will ALWAYS be asked in one form or another. Just make sure it matches the needs of the company, and remember that it isn’t just about your strengths—it’s about your strengths matching their needs.

11. Describe a Challenge You’ve Faced with a Colleague.

Don’t mention the fistfight you had with the baker when you used to bag groceries. Tell a story that puts you and the other worker in a positive light. Talk about a misunderstanding, but focus on how you overcame it with good communication.

It’s important to note that they know you have flaws you’re not revealing even if you frame everything positive, but constructing those mental associations will leave good thoughts that far outweigh their curiosity about the truth. After you leave, it won’t be your answers to your interview questions that linger, it will be the emotions you crafted by placing images in their heads. Negative connotations are not a good idea.

12. Are You Okay With the Salary for this Position?

If you want the job and the salary is fair for the market, you should probably say yes. This is a point where you better have done some research because you’re answer may decide your quality of life for quite some time. If you want to be able to ask for raises later, mention that you are happy as long as the job fits your expectations. Since they’ll probably dump enough extra work in your lap for another you, this gives you room to bitch later on. Save that stuff for outside of interview questions, after you’ve scored the job.

13. Tell Me About Your Biggest Weakness.

“I can be a bit of a perfectionist.” “I can’t stand it when other people don’t work as hard as I do.” Oh yeah, me too...brown-noser. Applicants have sat in that same chair feeding them that BS for weeks. Try something different when asked these age-old interview questions.

Talk about how your strengths can work against you and how you deal with that. Being original in your responses to interview questions will make you stand out in their mind more than anything else, and you don’t want to ever use a cookie cutter answer—it creates the impression that you are lazy and like to cut corners.

You can’t predict every interview questions that will be thrown your direction, but that’s okay because being able to think on your feet is a great demonstration of value as well. By preparing for these common interview questions you’ll walk into an interview feeling more confident and collected. Not only does your interviewer unconsciously read that in your body language and speech patterns but these kinds of feelings will keep you in a positive state of mind as well.

Learn to cultivate this state on demand, and even if these interview questions never come you will walk out a winner.

Source from

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy 2011!

2010 has just passed in a blink of eye. GOD GOD GOD feeling even older. I don't really have much time to think quietly recently, haven't even posted up the photos from holidays in KL and elsewhere.

Currently in Kuching now with the cutest cousins ever, having great time being a nanny, not so much of it when they have grown so big, almost taller than me. Sigh.

Promise to update more when I am back to Brunei.

Ex-housemate from Melbourne, Anusha is visiting Brunei for a week right after I go back to Bru. Can't wait for those outings with highskul mates and yeap Anusha I'm including you in them!

And to remind myself again, I better have a good start for this new year, be a good daughter and stop 'KEK-ing' my parents, I hope they can live longer so I will try harder to be an obedient and a daughter who can make them proud! I WILL BEEEE:D

Goodbye to all the suay-ness in 2010, IT IS GOING TO BE A GOOD YEAR! AMITABHA BLESS.
_____________________________________ <3

Here is a photo of a cutie that can definitely make your day and below are some of the hot babes' photos. Oh I think I saw some green-eyed monsters. HAHAAA

It's the first day of school for them tomorrow. And as a uni student, I can still shake my legs, somehow feeling a bit of stress after re-viewing the descriptions and assessments required for the units this coming semester, final semester indeed. GAH STRESSED!

Forget about it for the moment, the day will come itself. two more months to torture!

My holiday to-do-list, practice piano I can't see where have I gone, nowhere. Others, sigh *shake head by myself. DAH DAH DAH. I will do everything when I am back home.

What a busy holiday! And a warm one indeed:D

Saturday, December 18, 2010

First day of really 'settling down', after KL Trip, Hatyai trip, KK trip, Miri Trip, sounds busy huh!

Aite, I'll update u guys soon! I'm picking photos to be uploaded! :D

Wish me luck for tomorrow's competition!
Till thennnn

Thursday, November 4, 2010

counting down to the day of freedom


One more day, or less than 24 hours, I'll be free!
So fucking excited!

sooo.... I shall sleep now.
I am really proud of myself for the first time cos this is not last min studying (rarely happens ok).
Need to get up and revise later. WUHOO:D


Monday, October 25, 2010

I had no other choices but to walk away

Call me a loser or whatever, but when it started to feel uncomfortable being with you, I actually think it works better to stay away. There's no use forcing anything to strengthen the bond again or whatsoever. At least I tried, or I tried too hard I'd say. Thanks for not giving up on me, thanks for the patience given consistently, but it is just too tough, and even it's fixed, so what? I hate the stress I had being with you, and the mask I've to wear all the time, that's just not me.

I know I'm such a useless person, but bear with me. Well, I think we shouldn't even worry about anything. Just leave it, because it's good for everyone.

Thanks for the time spent. And I actually feel so disappointed in myself (mostly) for spending a whole of 7 months with you and ended up here. How pathetic.

I should stop thinking about it and get over it. the sensitive me. SIGH. I'm making my life hard. HAH.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

RIP birdie

Living in a country with four seasons for the first time (sorry I'm from kampung/ village, haiz equatorial country!), I am pretty excited when I could wear trenchcoats/ scarfs/ boots during winter. BUT NOW, I miss wearing shorts/ something with thinner material, cos I'm so fed up of wearing layers when I go out, worrying how cold it's gona be and all.

Spring is here and it's turned really warm (well, mostly. thanks to the unpredictable weather in Melb) during daytime, and it could suddenly drop up to 10 degrees lesser than daytime at night. crazy isn't it?

Despite how unpredictable the weather is, we still manage to survive, maybe get a lil sick at times, but look at this poor little bird. SIGH, blame the weather. it's frozen to death, pity it:(

RIP birdie

Saturday, October 23, 2010

End of the sem2!

Sem 2 actually ended last week. Finished two tests, did okay I assume, and now, shake legs a bit and probly can start off revision for the one and only exam ard 12 days later! :)
(For your explanation agen, it's that I have 3 exams but two of them are being scheduled earlier than the exam period, so it's called Tests, and I have done the two of em)cos people have been yelling at me ' WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE EXAMMM GAHHHH' and they attempted to bite me, so I'm giving explanation to stop ppl from lookin at me with green eyes. HEHE

HENCEEEE.... while shaking legs too freely, I FORGOT, yes i FORGOT about going to gym and started relaxing a lot! look at my weight again! sigh it increases so easily but to lose it again is so hard! GOSH!

To introduce again, these two are the pillars I have in Melbourne, like twin towers. Since they are so much taller than I'm, I can be the bridge in the middle.

And went DFO (Direct Factory Outlet) with Angeline, a lot of people said we look alike, do we?
oh btw, DFO is where you can find really cheap branded stuffs, but you gotta have the patience to flip through one by one, in detail in order to find nice stufs. ;D this, you can learn from me, i'm such a pro shopper (nothing to be proud of actually, I rather I excel more in academic stuffs HAHA:P)

Compare this to my fb profile pic taken two weeks ago. OMG. how can i gain weight soooooo fast! *biteeee
So looking at this look-alike of me, but a slimmer version, I suddenly am motivated to go gym again! THIS WEEK! I WILL WORK HARDER!
FOOD FOOD FOODDDDD I HATE YOU! (no i can't lie to myself) I LOVE FOOD, yes indeeddddd

We got ourselves something realllllllly worth it that day! Duty free shops are awesome! :DDD

Update more when I have time to calm myself more (in mind) and back to blogging mood! Till then, loves, hotbabepei

Sunday, October 17, 2010

my blog isn't dead

It's been more than two weeks! OMG what've I been doing, I wasn't so busy! NO I WASN'T!

I will be back after Wednesday. I promise!

Test on Tue, another on Wed. then the last one would be 5/11 :)
shittttt I will have to start going gym after Wed, I haven't went for around one weekkk gahhhh fatsssssssssssssssssssss. i wana cry :'(

aite I CANT WAIT for everything to be over!!!!!! STUDY FIRST! laters <3

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another day off:D

Since I'm finally done with another assignment, I decided I should go do something I like the most- KARAOKE!!!!!!!! WUHOO! :D d-uh.

YOU! Yes YOU! please come entertain me when you are free cos I basically stare at the laptop for the whole day when I stay home. Not sure what's gona happen after a longer period of time, maybe something good might happen, I will not be able to talk forever. HAHA:P good for ppl around me. Peaceful world for you guys. HAHA:P

That's why I've became noisier than before when I go out, like I got excited really easily, laughed like a crazy woman (as always).

Introduce you guys to the FAKE pro- Weiloon, He is my new advisor in picking of songs cos he is really good in listening and giving comments (after watching xing guang/ One Million Stars since the first season). Really PRO.

Sandra and I, I still can't really get used to call her sandra cos I knew her in childhood and I used to call her Lisuang. :) She wanted to sing k together during this trip to Mel from Perth, and there we went, her voice/ tone of singing is still good like last time!

Oh this Jason the sexy, he was being very generous in showing his cleavage that day. wahaha
WAH look at this handsome camwhoring. haha, good one since he took us as the background, where's the real high-pitched pro Pangwu?!

After karaoke, it's dinner time, Japanese buffet " $28 each person, order as much as you can! I swear I ate food I could have eaten for one week, when I was on diet for those two weeks. WASTED!
The carnivorous. 'Meat I want meat!' HAHAH!
END OF THE DAY: lesson learned: singing karaoke and eating buffet can be VERY exhausting.