expectations

I have to say,
Meeting up expectations is something tiring.
Something which is supposed to be enjoyable will no longer be that MUCH of enjoyment after all the other elements are added in, turning it into some mixture of stress n blahh.
haiz, luckily I'm forgetful, guess ll be better after a few moments.

btw,
I WAS SO EXCITED+ STRESSED during the whole singing session just now.
Was doing replacement today at Little Bally, ss15 and GUESS WHO I MET?
The guitarist is the one whom the residents of 177Q (our accommodation two yrs back) supported and likedddd SO MUCH!
ok, I admit I like him A LOT, like really A LOT back then, cos his voice melts my heart.
Have not listened to him singing for two years,
and today is the first time after two years.
It's a total different feeling having myself to sing with someone I admired so much (in singing), well, he's pretty good-looking too=B
BUT you will never expect such a talented guy (somemore good looking) to be THAT friendly,
gotta accept the fact. HAH.

the shit-est thing is that, I'm stressing myself out when I don't perform well.
I know it takes time to gain experience and be better,
but I know I don't have much time to 'enjoy the process',
next month is the last chance of performing in cafe, if the plan isn't change.
And the next time might be maybeh two years later? or NO more. AWW=(

Singing in cafe isn't as GREAT as I thought i would be.
Cos it's just pissing me off when I have to care about SO MUCH things,
-Am I performing okay, will the boss be happy with my performance, how about the customers....BLAH.- I hope the guitarist wasn't fed up listening to my stupid-inconsistent voice. AHHH. BU SHUANG.
It wasn't like this when I started my passion in singing, I used to relax while singing, not like THIS. BOO.
How can I let myself slow down my pace and relax a bit, but there isn't enough time for me to take a break, or BERAK. hehs. =BBBBB

I can only say my confidence gets beaten down too easily. DAMN.